Dear Annie: Two years ago, my younger sister learned that her grown daughter had been molested as a child by our then-teenage brother. I believe her, but was totally unaware of the situation, as I moved away nearly 25 years ago.

Her daughter had a friend who was also molested. Both girls were under age 6 when this happened, and the molestation lasted several years. I urged my sister to seek professional help for her daughter and herself, and to find a way to approach the other young woman to let her know that we are now aware of what our brother did and offer our support.

Since my children also were in contact with my brother during that time, I immediately asked them about this. They both said nothing happened. I’m pretty sure my daughter was not exposed to any harm, but there is a strong chance my son was molested, as he was never the same after one particular summer trip. In fact, he refused to ever visit his grandparents’ home again.

I have heard nothing more about this in the two intervening years. I asked my sister whether the other girl had been contacted, etc., and was told this was a private matter and the discussion was closed. She says it happened a long time ago and to forget about it. She says she will not have further contact with our brother, but she hasn’t considered the impact this has had on me. I was 14 when our brother was born, and I helped raise him after our parents divorced and our father died.

My brother never married and lives alone. He cannot hold down a job. I have no idea whether he is still molesting children. Meanwhile, another brother is asking for a family reunion. How do you respond when something this horrific is disclosed? — Older Sister

Dear Sister: You can’t dictate to your sister how to handle this. That is her decision. But her revelation also affects you and the relationships you have with all of your siblings, not to mention the possibility that your son was molested. The rest of the family should know about the molestation, not least because it protects any grandchildren from potential harm. The family reunion may be an opportune time to do this, but you should alert your sister so she is prepared. We also suggest you get some short-term counseling for yourself. This is obviously hard on you.

Dear Annie: “Michigan” says some of her friends constantly interrupt her. I used to be one of those people. I had a workmate who would stop me from interrupting by saying, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when I’m talking!” It was quite effective, and I really didn’t take offense. He was right. — Gabby

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