I have a gambling problem. I don’t mean, “I’ll bet the Patriots go to the Super Bowl!” — because I’ll take that bet. No, I’ve a problem with the Maine Lottery, currently facing legislative scrutiny, and deservedly so.
I believe all lotteries are scams. Cheesy, shameful shakedowns of the weak and desperate. Some say the lottery commission is “selling hope to the hopeless.” Mindless advertising created by the senseless aimed at the defenseless.
We’ve all seen those noisy casino commercials where giddy folks are having wa-a-a-ay too much “wicked good fun!” Salacious pandering, that.
Years ago, in another life, I saw plenty of gambling in Las Vegas. I toiled for an ad agency in Los Angeles, and the owner would fly us across the desert after work in his snazzy Cessna.
Once ensconced at the Hilton, he’d require us to take turns standing behind him at baccarat tables with cloth napkins folded under our sport jackets, posing as “armed” bodyguards. It was hilarious. Nonetheless, I was proud when I was licensed to carry a concealed napkin in Nevada.
I’ve seen high-rollers losing thousands on a single bet, without blinking a bleary eye. Meantime, in the lobby, hopeful low-rollers poured paychecks into slot machines. We once rode in an elevator with Bobby Darin after his show to the Hilton’s (then top) 29th floor.
And what’s with “fantasy football”? These activities are framed as games of “skill” rather than “chance.” Really? Who needs concussions with ludicrous logic like that?
It seems to me Maine’s “brand” is built (proudly) upon our pristine environment, recreational opportunities, common-sense values and (sadly) gubernatorial behavior. There’s precious little common sense inherent in lottery tickets, gambling — or the governor. They all tarnish our brand. But there’s no law against them, either.
So please — play responsibly.
Buddy Doyle
Gardiner
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