Forgiving those that hurt us isn’t for them; it’s for us. We benefit by forgiving them because we take away their control over us. We also benefit because while we have forgiven them, we haven’t forgotten; we can and should use the experience as a learning tool to know what not to do in the future.
If you were abused in any way as a child, then when you become a parent (if you do) you are more likely to continue the cycle of abuse. But there’s great new: You can change that cycle. Instead of continuing by doing what you were taught, and think is right, you can find a non-violent way to achieve your goals when raising your children. It won’t be easy by any means, but it can be done.
This makes me think of an old saying: Two wrongs don’t make a right.
If you were abused as an adult, forgive the person that hurt you. Take that control back and don’t live in fear that the next person will do the same thing. Not everyone is like that. Not everyone will hurt you. When you find someone that genuinely cares for you, you will see what I mean. It won’t be easy, but is achievable with a little work, time, patience, and dedication.
Remember forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. You not allowing them to control how you think, feel, or act. You take control of your future and not letting your past direct you. Yes, the past can be painful, and it is why you are where you are, but it doesn’t have to control where you are going. You have all the power to control that.
Michael Powell
Dresden
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