I’m a firm believer in tough love. And if you can’t take it, you may want to skip this column —because I’m about to dish some out.
If you’ve been eagerly waiting for today before starting on your New Year’s resolution, if you’ve been thinking, “This will be the year I …,” I have bad news: Odds are you won’t be successful.
Oh, your heart may be in the right place.
But the cold, hard, depressing truth is you’re probably going to fail.
If you’re lucky, you’ll squeak out two weeks of sticking to your resolution of eating healthy, exercising, getting outdoors, what have you, and then you’ll fall right back into your old habits.
I read an older study revealed 80% of people abandoned their resolutions by the beginning of February, which I suppose wasn’t all that inspiring to begin with. But a more recent report from the social fitness network Strava indicated 80% will quit by the second Friday in January. They even have a name for it now. The second Friday in January is known as “Quitter’s Day,” the day when most will fail to realize their resolutions.
Unless.
Unless you try a different approach. You may know I decided to take on a challenge of my own beginning mid-2022 into 2023, a physical body (as well as emotional) transformation. While this wasn’t a “resolution” per se, I’ve stuck to it. I’m exercising regularly, I’ve lost 25 pounds, and I’ve learned a lot.
Consider swapping the term “goal” for “resolution.”
As we’ve already established, “resolutions” are far too easy to cast aside mere weeks into the new year. Conversely, “goals” are things we really want, and we’re accustomed to “working hard” to achieve them.
Now choose a goal that is specific, attainable, and measurable.
For example, exercising three times a week is more reasonable than every day. Eating healthier, or eating more fruits and vegetables is good, but too vague. Perhaps incorporate one fruit/veggie per meal? Starting your workday with projects, and checking/responding to emails after 10 a.m. might make you more productive, though you could miss an important email. So, consider allowing for a read-through of email subjects at the beginning of the day.
Also, choose a goal that isn’t dependent on other people.
Goals that require outside validation – like losing weight to get someone to like you or wanting a promotion. Unfortunately, despite your hard work, you may not achieve your goals. This isn’t to say that working toward a promotion isn’t worthwhile but may not be a suitable New Year’s goal.
Once you’ve chosen your goal, find a way to track it and hold yourself accountable.
This is essential. I track my exercise through my watch and apps on my phone, which includes an electronic calendar and health-tracking software. You may prefer to use a pen and paper. But track it religiously.
Also, tell someone about it.
I’ve shared my goals publicly. You certainly don’t have to do that. (Though it does keep me motivated!) But you should tell someone. If you can recruit a friend to join you in your efforts, even better.
Keep this in mind, though: No one is going to make you do anything. You want to exercise? You’re the one who must put on those sneakers! You want to read more? Then you have to open those books! You’ve always wanted to start your own business? What are you waiting for? So even if have a cheerleader by your side, the hard work — and it will be hard — is up to you. And if you don’t have anyone cheering you on, that’s ok too. No one is going to be more invested in you than you are! You want it? Go get it! And work your tail off for it.
Oh, and another thing. You will fail. Yes, you’re going to fail. You say you want to exercise three times a week all year? Maybe you’ll do five, six, or seven days per week for a month! But at some point, you’re going to skip an entire week. Maybe even two. It’s going to happen. It’s OK. Failures are always a part of success. The question isn’t if you’re going to fall. The question is, are you going to stay down, or are you going to get back up? Allow yourself grace. Then get up and get back to work!
That’s how you accomplish a goal. That’s how I’m accomplishing mine. That’s how anyone accomplishes goals. And remember, you can’t really fail if you never quit.
So, on this New Year’s Day, ask yourself what you really want in 2023. Set a goal. Make it specific, attainable, and measurable. Tell someone. And come Quitter’s Day, don’t quit. Come the first week in February, don’t quit.
And next December, you can thank me if you like. But really, you’ll be thanking yourself because you’ll have achieved it.
Hilary Koch lives in Waterville. She can be reached at: hilarykoch@pm.me
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