In my 19 years of parenting, there have been many extraordinary experiences. Among them, very little compares to that of your own flesh and blood looking back at you, rolling their eyes, sighing in complete disdain, and telling you you’re insane.
When they’re born, your kids look at you with such amazement and devotion. How those precious tiny angels morph into unrecognizable demons is one of life’s greatest mysteries. And while the duration of this affliction can be fleeting, it can last for longer periods, and recurring flare-ups happen too.
Even when our kids “hate” us, we still love them. And at the end of their academic years, all is forgotten, and we celebrate them. We celebrate years of hard work and a new future.
With most college celebrations over and high school graduations upon us, it occurs to me that we’re missing a spectacular opportunity to honor the best of the best. The unsung heroes. The backbone of our society. The untipped Uber drivers before there was Uber. The real “Door Dashers,” who make last-minute runs to the store because “snack duty” falls on the third Tuesday of the month: Parents!
So, as we’re congratulating our kids this year, I’d like to propose taking a moment to applaud the parents (and guardians) who helped get them to the finish line.
And the awards go to …
The Survivors. These parents don’t give their kids fish; they teach them how to fish. If Survivors’ kids get an allowance, it’s not for doing chores that everyone must do for just being part of a family, it’s for work beyond the norm. Their kids do their own laundry and pack their own lunches. Their homework is done before they go out to play. They scrub toilets. Come high school graduation, their kids juggle academics, extracurriculars and part-time jobs. They purchase their own car and pay for its insurance. Survivors’ kids go out into the world and thrive. In addition to the obvious “Best at Hiding Tears at Graduation” award, Survivors earn the “Mood Whisperer” award, as shifts in tempers never bother them.
The Energizer Bunnies. These are the parents we love to hate but without whom nothing would function. Energizer Bunnies are the organizers and the planners. They’re “Homeroom Parents” and are in charge of Boosters. We get their emails asking for help, and we’re all too busy to pitch in. So, they work every event, often missing the opportunity to watch their own kids play. And they do it with a smile. They’re insomniacs because they’re either fretting about chaperones for field trips or sewing costumes. If your kid forgets their water bottle, their kids always have a spare. These are the kids we want in charge of every event; heck, we want them managing our retirement accounts. Energizer Bunnies accordingly earn the “Formula 1” award and the “Most Valuable Parent of Parents” award for saving our butts.
The Hot Messes. Hot Messes are free spirits, and so are their kids. Their kids resemble “Pigpen” from Charlie Brown, not because they don’t bathe, but because they’re always into everything. They allow their kids to learn from natural consequences (i.e., dirt doesn’t taste good.) Their kids’ backpacks are always overflowing and are most prone to spill an entire paint bottle during art. But Hot Messes are unflappable. They’re masters of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Consequently, their kids are the ones calming down classmates when their glitter explodes. Their kids are creative and become the people everyone always wants to have as friends. Hot Messes not only win the “Best at Handling ‘I’m Bored’” award, but also the “Infinite Patience” award for answering constant questions and thousands of bedtime stories.
The Mama Bears. Don’t let this name fool you; Mama Bears aren’t gender-specific, but their personality is that of a mother bear. Mama Bears can be cuddly, or protective and fierce if their children are threatened. These parents are not to be trifled with. And their kids know it too. If they test limits by throwing tantrums in a public setting, Mama Bears give them time-outs in the middle of Target. So, these kids are not typically “trouble-makers.” Yes, Mama Bears regularly send novel-length emails to teachers and administrators, but they’re also the ones leading the charge at school board meetings at any hint of injustice. Their kids go on to protect others and help make the world a better place. Mama Bears rightly deserve the “Go Ahead, I Dare You,” award and the “Least Likely to Forget a Kid at the Store” award.
These parent awards should become a staple at every graduation. Parents, well done, and thank you. And Kids, before tossing your hats in the air, consider tipping them to your parents. Your success is as much theirs as it is yours. Let them know it.
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